so I'm sitting in an 82 year old clients home discussing the changes with Medicare and the "AEP" deadline...and I smell something funny.....WHICH I might add, happens sometimes w/older clients homes (I'll not go into details about odors in senior life homes...trust me you'd thank me)...when I heard a huge...well...HUGE is more like it....fart..(you know the kind that comes out of really big people and big lil kids), which, as it happens really isn't uncommon in/with some senior citizens homes...but the thing is, I heard it come some where close behind me...and well...she was in sitting across the table...IN front of me!!!...(I stiffen in fright). The first thing to hit my brain was......try my best not to look guilty AND (please God...help me) to stop the gag reflex. This was NAS-ty..ugh...second thing that hit my brain was "MY GOD THE PITS OF HELL JUST OPENED UP AND SATAN JUST SPEWED FORTH”... and the stench that comes with him"...the third and simultaneous thought coming forth in the now hazy and now spinning head is...wait....if she's over there.....then who or oh no....WHAT is behind me, and I hope to GOD she didn't think that was me...."...when around from behind the chair comes a lil brunette dust mop with two black olives for eyes a slimly nose and the over bite of “Billy BOB” (see hillbilly)... The “IT” was at some point in it’s former life.... Pomeranian dog ......ok, so I’m thinking no..., ALL of that could not possibly have come from that woman’s “Sunday go to meeting” wig scurrying across the floor.......as it waddled across the kitchen floor, it cut loose a string of farts..DOG farts that would have filled a hot air balloon... Where did all that gas come from, and I always thought Chase (who can fart at will) was bad....ugh. So as I’m sitting there trying desperately not to breath, I watch the dog from hell make it over to a rug in front of the oven turn around several time... (It wasn’t enough that the thing had to let go the string.. It now had to make sure it to irradiate everything with in a twenty mile radius!), and lay down...letting out a 30 second 8 decapil fart...and a sigh of relief. No, I am NOT kidding, nor am I embellishing this tail of woe......Soooo as I looked on in horror, trying “not” to look like I’m looking on in horror, I noticed my client (a NEW client BTW, I had just brought her into the Senior Advantage flock as a policy holder), was obviously oblivious to the stench, the noise AND (thank god) the fact that I about unloaded my breakfast...and I finished the contract, chatted and left to go have my clothes burned and my body detoxfied...
Just another day in my life serving the better good of Seniors in Michigan!
:::le sigh:::
